I see Fifty Shades of Grey…and clouds of white~♫
Left Seattle, the rainy city, for more rain in the Bay Area! Luckily, I just picked up these rainproof Chelsea boots from DSW. After living in Washington for several years now, my shopping habits have naturally gravitated more towards clothing pieces that are rainproof because my California wardrobe just was not cutting it in the Northwest weather. I can’t even remember the last time I bought a tank top or a summer dress! Nevertheless, I have a lot more cold-weather practical clothing now. Perfect for this strange rainy California weather we’ve been having right?
Coming home is always such a great refresher for me. It brings me back to my childhood and my roots which I know and love so very dearly. I’ve come to an understanding that California really is home sweet home to me, and forever will be. Going to college out-of-state was like an escape for me to experience a fresh start, and as much as I love every other place I’ve been to in my life, California is where I grew up and love being the most. With my college graduation date inching closer and closer, I’ve done a lot of reflecting on what I want to do after college and where. To be honest with you, it’s an extremely terrifying thought for me to wonder about because it feels like I’m reaching the cusp of that prime deciding moment. Truthfully, none of us knows what will happen or where we will be in our lives a year or two from now. One can only hope for the best, right?
All this left me feeling so overwhelmed to the point where I’m up till 4am writing this and worrying about what’s really to become of me. I’ve always been one who longs to have a concrete plan for the future, but as the future slowly but surely unfolds into reality, all the time I thought I had to figure it out seems to have shrunk down. It makes me wish I could go back to more simpler times when I was younger, but that’s all a part of growing up.
In the midst of it all, I know that this is surely not the first time I’ve ever felt like this, and to anyone else feeling similar feelings during this transitional period in our lives just know that you’re not alone. We will all be just fine. I’ve found that what’s most crucial is taking it one day at a time and organizing all future concerns by priority of what can be dealt with sooner. Like I said earlier: hope for the best! If in any event, the worst case comes about instead then take it with a grain of salt, accept what is, and keep doing whatever you can do to reach your goal. Remember to always be true to yourself in how you go about your life and make your decisions. Of course, none of us are perfect and we’ll still keep making mistakes along the way, but the important thing to note is that such mistakes should teach us something and not bring us down.
For me, I’ve found that letting my thoughts flow in writing over the years has proven to be extremely therapeutic. Looking back through my archives of saved drafts and notes makes me realize the tremendous amount of growth I’ve undergone since my teens. This is truly what motivates me. Obviously, everyone goes through that teen angst period where everything just seems like the end of the world, but, for me, one or two key events at that time truly did end up drastically affecting how I was and how I went about my life. They completely shattered my self-esteem and made me withdraw back into my shell. I admit, I was rarely honest with myself and never wanted to embrace who I really was then around others. It was hard for me to see at the time that I should’ve just let go of those negative friendships as soon as they started becoming toxic for my mental health and willingness to be open with other people. I know now that I should never have let it affect the relationships I had with my parents and everyone else I care about.
Going back to the present time of transitioning into adulthood, I’m now taking these experiences with me for the unpredictable journey ahead. I’m truly confident in myself that I can do this on my own. Although I (as well as everyone else out there, I’m sure) wish that the answers could be spelled out right in front of us, that is just never going to be the case, and we are going to have to work as hard as we can to make it so that those answers we so wish for reveal to be true.
Soon enough, after letting it all out in writing and taking a deep breath, I’m back on my feet again, except this time confidently accepting the fact that I must take life at its own pace. In the end, we all need some form of creative outlet where we can feel free to express ourselves in a cathartic manner, and that is precisely why I started this blog several years ago (although it only recently developed into The Street Kat). And so, I would like to sincerely thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading and supporting my dear blog. It really does mean so much to me because this blog means so much to me, as well. In any case, I hope I didn’t ramble on too long, but I also really hope that my little heart-to-heart helps to inspire some of you out there just as it helped to re-inspire me, as well. Happy Holidays, everyone ❤